What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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