is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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