did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
