Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
