yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize