Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
