he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
