We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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