Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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