who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just want to make out with him forever
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
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