I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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