So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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