you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
