Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
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i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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