you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
How naked do you want me to be?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
