Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
