I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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