why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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