Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
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So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
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Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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