So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
