: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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