He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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