I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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