I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
