well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
