You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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