I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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