i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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