I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
