I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm sobbing to NWA
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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