She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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