So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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