Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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