I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
