Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
