Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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