I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
