I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
