At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
