..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
