Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
