I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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