Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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