when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
How does it feel to date your dad?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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