we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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