I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So apparently I’m into choking now
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
