James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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