I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
