Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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