Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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