yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
