saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
send nudes
from the living room?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
