Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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