It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
