I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
