Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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