Buhtt sex?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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