I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
