They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
